How do these five Halloween-y kids’ movies hold up for nostalgic adult audiences?
The Addams Family: A
This Wednesday moment is still topical today:
The Monster Squad: B
Or, as we dubbed it, “Goonies Do Halloween.” The Monster Squad is still pretty badass – the kids actually curse and do questionable old-timey things like puff cigarettes and say “homo.”
Favorite bizarre movie moment: Dracula lifts up five-year-old Phoebe by the throat and screams “Give me the amulet, you BITCH!” in her face. So adorably not PC.
Hocus Pocus: B+
My gripe with the movie is that it could have ended three quarters of the way through, instead of dragging out a lukewarm storyline starring Thora Birch and two teenage L.L. Bean models. But it’s loud, it’s goofy, and the cheese factor keeps it fun for old fogeys like us.
Ernest Scared Stupid: C-
Pro tip: Whiskey makes the jokes funnier. May also cause snoring.
Best scene of the movie:
The Nightmare Before Christmas: A++
C’mon, I had to include everyone’s old favorite! This movie is timeless. The stop motion animation holds up so well because this movie OWNS it. The detail is incredible. Danny Elfman really nailed it with the music and with his own singing parts.
The Corpse Bride doesn’t come close to reaching the musical achievement of The Nightmare Before Christmas. If only we still made films of this quality now, Tim Burton.