Rainbow Reading is our weekly series focusing on book reviews with a geeky/sci-fi/fantasty/supernatural flair with LGBTQ characters. Today I review Into This River I Drown by TJ Klune.
Synopsis by Dreamspinner Press:
Five years ago, Benji Green lost his beloved father, Big Eddie, when his truck crashed into a river. Everyone called it an accident, but Benji knows it was more. Even years later, he’s buried in his grief, throwing himself into managing Big Eddie’s convenience store in the small-town of Roseland, Oregon. Surrounded by his mother and three aunts, he lives day to day, struggling to keep his head above water.
But Roseland is no ordinary place. With ever more frequent dreams of his father’s death and waking visions of feathers on the river’s surface, Benji finds his definition of reality bending. He thinks himself haunted; by ghosts or memories, he can no longer tell. Not until a man falls from the sky, leaving the burning imprint of wings on the ground, does Benji begin to understand that the world is more mysterious than he ever imagined—and more dangerous. As uncontrollable forces descend on Roseland, they reveal long-hidden truths about friends, family, and the stranger Calliel—a man Benji can no longer live without.
Five years ago, Benji Green lost his beloved father, Big Eddie, when his truck crashed into a river. Everyone called it an accident, but Benji knows it was more. Even years later, he’s buried in his grief, throwing himself into managing Big Eddie’s convenience store in the small-town of Roseland, Oregon. Surrounded by his mother and three aunts, he lives day to day, struggling to keep his head above water.
But Roseland is no ordinary place. With ever more frequent dreams of his father’s death and waking visions of feathers on the river’s surface, Benji finds his definition of reality bending. He thinks himself haunted; by ghosts or memories, he can no longer tell. Not until a man falls from the sky, leaving the burning imprint of wings on the ground, does Benji begin to understand that the world is more mysterious than he ever imagined—and more dangerous. As uncontrollable forces descend on Roseland, they reveal long-hidden truths about friends, family, and the stranger Calliel—a man Benji can no longer live without.
I love anything written by TJ Klune. I also end up making the horrible wookie cry face for almost every TJ Klune book I have ever read. This book hit me harder - it hurt my soul. The description of the relationship Benji had with his father, Big Eddie, and the loss Benji feels after his dad’s death is heartbreaking. For anyone who has ever lost someone close to them, the description is beyond painful. For those lucky enough to have not experienced this level of despair, TJ pulls you kicking and screaming into the sorrow that Benji feels day in and day out. Throughout this book, the reader is pulled into the past and we get to learn about Benji and Big Eddy’s relationship. Normally, I hate when a book jumps from back and forth in time. This was so well done and gave the reader a chance to learn about and love Big Eddy, a character that no longer exists physically in the present but continues to have such a vital impact on the characters in this book.
This is at once the end and the beginning.
This is the story of my love of two men.
One is my father.
The other is a man who fell from the sky.
At Benji’s bleakest moments, he discovers Calliel. Calliel is Benji’s guardian angel who has fallen to earth to help Benji work through his grief. Cal is a fantastic character – honest, kind, protective, selfless and childlike all rolled into one. Cal helps Benji figure out how to continue to live his life instead of standing still while endlessly repeating the worst moment of his life. I love their relationship. I love how the characters in this book grow and change throughout the course of the book.
The first two thirds of the book are filled with the heartbreaking sorrow of dealing with a loved one’s death and learning how to slowly begin to live again. The last third of the book is intense. As always though, TJ ends the book with a laugh. We as readers get to take a breath, and be able to let these characters go, knowing that they have grown over the course of the book, and are well on their way to living again. I re-read a lot of TJ’s books, but have yet to be able to do that with this book. Every time I think about this book, I feel so many things still for the characters. Even though I know in the end, Benji is in a much better place, I haven’t been able to bring myself to read this book again, and put myself through the emotional turmoil. Maybe I will be able to read it again next year. But at least I can leave the book knowing that these characters are happier than when the book began.
Read this book, but remember to have a box of tissues and a friend support line handy. You will not be disappointed.
